Posted on Wednesday 8th of July 2020 02:00:02 AM
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An American woman is being called the "queen of matrimony" in a country where polygamy is legal. But when she tried to wed a local man, she was stopped in her tracks. The man had already met her husband in an Islamic school in the southern state of Hyderabad.
"He asked me, 'How can I marry you when you're so young?' I said, 'We're very busy, " she vivastreet pakistani tells News24. "He asked why and I said, 'Because you're a woman sex dating bristol who's a mother of a small child.' He said, 'I want to be a father.' "
"I told him that in this country, it's the wife's job to provide for her children. If she is not capable of that, it's her responsibility to go into a state where it's easier for her," she adds.
The man was so upset he told his parents he was not able to marry her because of her age, she says.
Now Mumtaz Ali is working on a novel, a love story set in Pakistan, and has been speaking to reporters. "I don't want to make the whole country angry at me, but there's a culture in Pakistan, where you think people have this option of being with a man older than 30 and that it's acceptable," she says.
Mumtaz Ali tells News24 that she was born in a traditional family, and she is aware of other women whose marriages have been disrupted because of their age, but says this is different. "I feel sorry for the person who gets married when their husband is older than 30, or if they find out they will have to work to support the family," she says.
In an interview with the Express Tribune in December, a former Pakistan women's commission member, who asked to remain anonymous, said women marrying at such an advanced age are vulnerable to the backlash of their family. "Most of my friends have done it. When they are married, some of their parents try to have them committed. This happens in the case of married women who are 20 or younger," she says.
When she was in Pakistan as a young teenager, Mumtaz said she felt so lonely. "I felt lonely when my mother and father were at work," she recalls. "And when I had no one to talk to about it, I would ask my parents what I should do, but they wouldn't tell me what to do."
In addition to being an adult with responsibilities, Mumtaz felt that she had no other choice. "If I had a boyfriend, it would have been hard to do it alone," she says. "I wasn't used to doing it alone."
So, Mumtaz decided to marry a pakistani man from her home town of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. The pair had both come to indian matrimonial sites in canada Pakistan from the same region. "We were born and raised in a traditional family," she says. "We were just very fortunate that the man we had married was a traditional man."
But things didn't go so well. "He cheated edmonton muslim on me, he didn't live with us for a long time and we couldn't take care of him. I wasn't happy, my sister and I didn't want a child."
Mumtaz decided that her children were better off with the men she knew, and decided to return to her village, where she knew people who knew her. "I met a man through a friend, he told me about our village," she says. "The man I chose uae girls was my brother's son."
So Mianwali came back to Pakistan with her children, and the couple decided to marry. In a country where you can't find a marriage contract until you're over 30 and unmarried, the two had to get permission to get married. "It was very difficult, my brother's family was angry because they couldn't do anything to stop me getting married."
"I went to the local mosque to apply for my marriage, the local imam, a very religious man, rejected me."
After the family was forced to cancel the wedding, Mianwali and her children left their village. "When I got back, I was devastated, I cried all the time. I felt guilty, the whole time I was at the mosque, I was thinking how I should have done more."
She realised she could never make her family happy and made plans to go back home, where her sister would live with her family. "I was still angry at the way the family treated me, and when I told my family about my affair, they were so shocked," she says.
She was eventually granted permission muslims marriage to marry her brother's son.
"I still had my heart, it still belonged to my brother. I wanted to marry his son, but I couldn't, not because I was a bad person, but because I was worried that he would take away my brother."
Mianwali says that her parents were happy for her to marry, but that they were concerned for her safety. "I was told by the family in London that if my husband had the slightest trouble, they would arrange a marriage for him. I was also told that if I wanted to leave, I would have to take her to London. I thought they might force me to get married."
Her brother had never met her. She says they had never met in person. He told her that he didn't think her life would have gone sweedish men as smoothly if he'd known her. "I was devastated," she says. "I was a mess for six months. I couldn't eat, I couldn't go out, I couldn't talk to anyone. I couldn't do anything. My mother was just like, 'I'm sorry, why is this happening to you? You're doing what you want to do and we just didn't give you permission to be a muslim.'"
Marrying a Muslim has become an obsession in pakistani life.