Posted on Tuesday 4th of August 2020 06:39:02 PM
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"I'm not going to let you into my life, you're not welcome here. My only home is a secret room that is only open to the closest people." – Purnima, Pakistan's oldest gay male Purnima, born Poonam, was a pakistani old gay. Purnima has been living the life of an old gay since he was 16 and only found out about being gay in 2004. Purnima is a regular in the gay community and even though his life is pretty normal, he has no plans to give it up. "My life has been quite normal for the past 8 years," he said. Purnima was born into the Purnima family, one of the oldest in the city. The first of his siblings, Purnima's father is a pharmacist and the second, Purnima's mother, is a housewife. Although there was no formal education in school, Purnima studied with the help of a tutor and got his bachelor's degree in chemistry at a university, and his diploma in pharmacy from a private university. Purnima got married after getting engaged in 2005, and the couple have two children. In the beginning, it was very difficult for Purnima to meet gay men . "I was afraid of people, because I was not used to them. Even today, I am scared of being talked to by gay men," he said. But Purnima didn't just go through the painful process of meeting other gay men, he also took it as an opportunity to become more confident about himself and his sexuality, and indian matrimonial sites in canada to make his sex dating bristol family proud. "I learned a lot in that time," he said. Purnima eventually came out to his family as gay. "I was never the type to hide my sexual identity, but it took me time to realize it. I started to live my own life, and my friends told me that they would accept me," Purnima said.
There is one other factor that Purnima and many other muslims I spoke to cited in their attempts to come out as gay. According to them, it was the lack of understanding of the role of homosexuality in the country's religious context. "The government's policy of denying gays, and even the concept of homosexuality, to the public does not reflect a true understanding of the Islamic faith," Purnima said. "I am proud that my family and friends support me and that I am now able to live my life as a man. I was very afraid to tell my parents. I always had uae girls to hide my identity from them. I didn't want them to question my faith," she said. But, that was not the only factor that made her reluctant to come out. In spite of the social pressure on her to do so, she believes sweedish men that she has no right to be ashamed of her sexuality. She also felt that she had a duty to her country to make sure that her identity is not put at risk. "As a woman in a Muslim country, I feel that I am a national asset. If I didn't come out, I think that it would have been the worst thing I could have done," she said.
When she first approached her husband, she was not sure how to approach him since she was scared of what he would think. "I knew what he would say if I did come out, that it was nothing but an attempt to 'cuck' me. I was so scared edmonton muslim to get close to my husband that I didn't even consider going to a bar with him. My husband was just too embarrassed," she explained. But, after her first meeting with him, her heart started to turn. "It was clear that his reaction was the opposite to what I had expected. He told me that he couldn't live with me, and he wanted to live with someone who was gay, because that's how it should be." The couple got married and lived in a house in Karachi for three years before moving to an apartment in the city, and now they live with a man. "He doesn't have a partner, he does all the housework. He has made my life very difficult," she said. She said the only reason she is still with her husband is because he always tries to make her laugh. "He is such a nice guy. I don't want him to get lonely." It's no coincidence that the Pakistani gays I spoke to spoke about the "old gay culture" that is so important to them, and the way their community tries to protect them from their own people. "The vivastreet pakistani gay culture here was very strong for a long time, it's a shame the way people are treating us now," said one woman, adding, "We had a lot of people around who were so homophobic that they called us f*ing b* (transphobes) and had us thrown out of our homes. There was also so much pressure from the Muslim community that we would only talk to one other person, so we couldn't even have an opinion about a man. This has caused the gay community to muslims marriage be very scared." The Pakistani gay community, in its way, is similar to the Muslim community in the West where there are some "outsiders" who are making trouble. In the West, there are people who are trying to bring their own version of Islam into the West and they are being seen as "apostates" by their own people, especially by "Westerners." The Pakistani gays I spoke to are different in the same way. They don't need to hide their homosexuality from anyone because it's something they feel inside of them. For them, it is something that is a part of them.